Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chip Cookies

pb-choc-chip-cookiesI like cookies soft, and most Peanut Butter Cookies do not fulfill this criteria. Too much peanut butter seems to mess up the consistency… yet the actual taste of peanut butter is so good. These cookies are my solution. The taste of peanut butter is not overpowering; there are only three tablespoons of it in the recipe. However the peanut butter chips make up for this. I also added chocolate chips because: who’s going to stop me?

Ingredients:

  • 1 stick butter (1/2 cup)
  • 6 tbsp sugar
  • 6 tbsp brown sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 3 tbsp peanut butter
  • 1.25 cups flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • A handful of peanut butter chips (or more)
  • A handful of chocolate chips (or more)

Directions

1. Cream butter and sugars. Add egg, then vanilla, then peanut butter.

2. Sift together flour, baking soda, salt. Add to wet mixture. Add in various types of chips.

3. Place cookie sized rounds of dough on baking sheet/tray. Press down a bit with a fork, but you probably don’t have to.

4. Bake at 350 for 8 minutes. Let cool about one minute, then place the entire trays of cookies in the freezer for about 10 minutes. Remove, let them come down to room temperature.*

top-pb-cookies

* I find this helps deal with the fact that these cookies are so soft out of the oven, and also prevents them from continuing to cook more as it sits on the still quite warm baking tray.

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Advantages of ebooks (in an ideal world)

So I got to wondering what would happen if ebook publishers somehow had a bunch of money to make ebooks really awesome (instead of kind of lame, poorly formatted, and with limiting DRMs). What would some of the advantages of ebooks be in an ideal world?

  • Email your ebook to a friend with all your annotations/marginalia/notes attached. Or just send your notes for them to apply to their own copy of the ebook.
  • Save all your annotations/marginalia/notes for each time you read through a given book. Start “fresh” every time, but then compare your notes between different read-throughs. Or just have different sets of notes depending on what the purpose of the read-through was (e.g., reading through Middlemarch with the goal of writing an essay on realism, then reading through it later, paying more attention to references to class conflict).
  • Download other people’s annotations/marginalia of a book, like all the notes of a respected academic’s or an well-known author’s. These might possibly be available to buy, for, like, 30 cents per set. (Go go gadget “Long Tail.”)
  • A heavily annotated version of a book (like Lolita, for example, which already has heavily annotated versions and is a book with which annotations really help) in which the annotations are longer than the book itself… but reading each annotation is a painless process where you tap the screen, an annotation comes up, and then you tap the screen again to get rid of it. No flipping back and forth while trying to keep your page with one finger.
  • Compare one edition with another, flipping back and forth within the text. This would be neat for things like some Shakespeare plays which seem to have a thousand small word substitutions spread throughout.
  • Control-f. (You can pretty much do this now. Hurray!)
  • Have an academic article which keeps referencing page numbers from the 2004 Oxford edition of a book, and another that keeps referencing the 2007 Penguin edition? No problem: switch back and forth between the different paginations.
  • Heck, read an academic article that links directly to your ebook whenever it references the text. Or have books come with neat articles attached, and referenced via footnotes in the relevant parts of the text.
  • Tap the screen, plug in your earphones, and painlessly switch to the audiobook version from where you left off reading.
  • Tap a word and the official Oxford English Dictionary definition comes up. (You can do this now with e.g., Wikipedia or Websters, but not with the OED. That could probably be implemented as an app on the iPad, though, if the folks running the OED had the money and/or inclination.)
  • If an annotation mentions that the text is referencing a previous text, look up that text immediately (or, rather, the specific spot within that text), whether it’s in your ebook library or it is available through wireless.
  • Create subscriptions with a series of really advanced filters. For example, automatically download every article by X author whenever they publish in The New Yorker’s “Shouts and Murmurs” section, or download every article in the New York Times’ “Politics” section that has certain keywords in the title. Or every fiction piece in The Atlantic.  (A system or algorithm which created a price for you, based on your subscription filter, would be good.)

That’s all I’ve got, off the top of my head. This list would be even longer if ebook readers were basically computers. But who knows what’s going to happen with e-ink technology.

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Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake

Reese's Peanut Butter CheesecakeFact: Peanut butter is the best thing that exists.

When I was in Europe almost no one I talked to had tried peanut butter. The one person I talked to about peanut butter who had tried it thought it was really weird and not very good. For breakfast people would give me really good, delicious, fresh bread, but there would only be various jams or Nutella available to spread on it. I mean, jam and Nutella are good, but they’re not peanut butter. I tried Marmite once too while I was there, and I don’t even understand why that exists.

Anyways, this Reese’s peanut butter cheesecake recipe turnout out rich as hell, so I recommend serving rather thin slices. I mixed and matched this RecipeZaar cheesecake recipe right here with some tips from Bake or Break. Bake or Break actually has more gorgeous, drool-worthy photos on their Flickr stream. The recipe I linked to from RecipeZaar has more photos which show neat decorating ideas and other people’s tips/opinions on the recipe.

In total I used about 15 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups – 11 for the cheesecake filling, and 4 for sprinkling around the top. Another thing I noticed was that my crust seemed dry, so I added a bit more butter. The ingredients elsewhere on the web and here say “1/2 cup butter” but in total I used about 1/2 cup (1 stick) plus 2 more tablespoons. Maybe experiment for yourself…?

If I were to do it all over again, I think I might also hold off on the chocolate topping and just go for more crushed Reese’s or Oreos or nuts on top of the cheesecake. That’s just me.

I found the water bath thing a pain, but I had no cracks in my cheesecake and I didn’t get a bunch of water seeping in and ruining the cake or the Oreo crust, so I guess it was worth it. For the next cheesecake, I’d like to try just sticking a bath of water on a lower oven tray and seeing if that works.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake

  • Oreo Cookie Crust
  • 5 cups crushed¬†Oreo cookies
  • 1¬†cup peanuts
  • 1 stick (1/2 cup) butter, melted
  • Filling
  • 2 lbs softened cream cheese
  • 5 eggs
  • 1.5 cups brown sugar
  • 1 cup smooth peanut butter (I used Kraft, not natural)
  • 1/2 cup whipping cream
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 12 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, broken into quarters
  • Topping
  • 5 oz semi-sweet chocolate
  • 1/4 cup sour cream
  • More Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (4-5? However many you want, I guess.)

Directions:
Oreo Crust:
1. Throw peanuts in a blender ’til they’re really small (not fine, but small). Combine the crushed Oreos and the ground peanuts with the stick of melted butter. Note: At this stage, I actually needed more butter because my crust seemed a bit dry. So about 1 stick + 2 tablespoons total.
2. Pat the crust mixture into 10-inch round springform pan. You should have enough to go up the sides.
Reese’s Cheesecake Filling:
3. Beat cream cheese until smooth.
4. Add eggs one at a time. Keep beating the eggs / cream cheese.
5. Add the sugar, the peanut butter and the whipping cream. Keep mixing.
6. Stir in the vanilla, and fold in the Peanut Butter Cups with a spatula.
7. Pour the filling into the prepared crust.
8. Cover the bottom of the springform pan with tin foil. You’re going to place it in water, so try and make it air tight. Place the springform pan into a larger baking pan, and fill the larger pan with hot water, such that the water comes about an inch up the sides of the springform pan.
9. Bake at 275 degrees F for 90 minutes, or until firm and lightly browned. Place it in the fridge.
Cheesecake Topping:
10. Melt the chocolate and the sour cream in a microwave in 20 second bursts, stirring constantly. Once it’s all melted and smooth, spread it over the cheesecake with a spatula. Drop broken up Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on top. Or add Oreos. Or a bunch of Snickers bars and peanuts. Really, the world is your oyster.

Finally: Refrigerate the entire cake at least 4 hours. Then serve in extremely thin slices.

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An alien writes haikus about his trip to Earth

1.
Saw an Earth movie
today–what a twist! “Rosebud”
was only his sled.

2.
Man, don’t fajitas
taste so good? I think I will
spare this weak planet.

3.
Meet the President?
To heck with that–I want to
go to Disney World.

4.
Don’t mind me: I’m just
testing my new death-ray on
some endangered whales.

5.
I cannot believe
such a primitive species
invented Post-Its.

6.
I dissected Ted;
you remember Ted? Oh, you
don’t? Well, nevermind.

7.
Went to a disco
today. I don’t understand
this goddamn species.

8.
I crashed my spaceship
into the Eiffel Tower;
my first DUI.

9.
Your discussion of
human copulation is
pleasing. Tell me more.

10.
Dogs aren’t all that cute.
I opened one up and it
was just blood and stuff.

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Dear Mr. Director of Wildlife Canada, sir

Dear Mr. Director of Wildlife Canada, sir, I think you should know that the underground world of “Moose vs. Gravity” has really taken off, and if you are interested in this highly lucrative opportunity, all I need is a few more moose to replace the ones that have recently been lost.

Most sincerely yours,
Mike

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Real life Superman origin

As the doomed planet Krypton meets its end, Kal-el’s parents make a quick decision: they place their beloved son into a small space pod and send him off into space. He floats off into the darkness–forever.

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Some ideas

  • Little helmets and scuba gear so that bees can go underwater.
  • A flashlight that turns on and off really fast, so that when you point it at something, that thing becomes the object of a disco.
  • A game called “Dance Rules Revolution,” in which long, boring rules for various types of dance competitions come on the screen and you have to read the rules out loud really fast.
  • A set of rules so that politicians, in the months leading up to an election, aren’t allowed to smile, look anyone in the eye, or shake anyone’s hand if they’re making a promise that they can’t keep.
  • Crazy product idea: a reasonably priced stapler that can staple more than 10-12 pages without screwing everything up.
  • A Star Trek/Final Destination crossover which is just two hours of red-shirts dying in unexpected ways.
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This is it

This is it. What is ‘it‘? All I can tell you is what it isn’t.

I can tell you that it won’t be pretty. It won’t be anything like some fancy Renaissance painting, or a three-year-old’s drawing of a flower. It won’t be like some super advanced alien starship design that is so impossibly beautiful that the human mind cannot even comprehend it without breaking down into a lifetime of weeping. If I had to compare it to something, it’d be to one of those old black and white photos of the Depression. Like a bunch of people are waiting in a long bread line or something, and they look really sad, because there’s a big sign that says, ‘DEPRESSION PREDICTED TO LAST FOR A BILLION MORE YEARS.’

“It” isn’t some fantasyland where it’s always sunny and the rivers run wild with honey. Do you see any honey here? Well, okay, but aside from Tim’s sandwich. Tim’s sandwich doesn’t count. What? No, forget all about Honey River. Just forget it. Everyone knows that was due to the old honey factory explosion, so it doesn’t count either. And do you know how many people drown in Honey River? Practically every week some damned fool gets it in his head to cross it. Swimming in honey isn’t easy. People die horrible, horrible deaths trying to cross Honey River. Just get Honey River out of your head.

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Giant Chocolate Chip Cookies

giant-chocolate-chip-cookieThis cookie is great because it is chocolate chip and it is huge. I would compare it in size to a hockey puck. I got the recipe from here at vanilla sugar, but I took out the nuts, added an ounce of chocolate, and also ground some of the chocolate before adding it to the batter. I also changed the brown:white sugar ratios.

This cookie, and many like it, are an attempt to copy the giant cookie available from Levain Bakery in New York. On the bakery’s home page, it looks like the Levain cookie is slightly darker on the outside and slightly softer on the inside than the ones I have made. Oh well. That can be fixed with modified bake times and temperatures.

Modified Copy of Levain Huge Chocolate Chip Cookies

  • 2 sticks unsalted butter (softened)
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 cup packed brown sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 3 cups all purpose flour
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips or chopped chocolate

1. Beat butter and both sugars until creamy.
2. Add the eggs and the vanilla until combined.
3. Mix flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda together in a separate bowl, then add this dry mix to the wet mix.
4. Grind up a few ounces of the chocolate until it is in really small bits, much smaller than a regular chip. You should have a variety of sizes of chocolate, some much smaller than regular chocolate chips, some about the same, and a few that are bigger. Add all the chocolate to the batter. Stick the batter in the fridge for 15-30 minutes (optional).
5. Each cookie, when you put it on the pan, should weigh a little over 4 oz,* and you should get a total of 12 cookies, six per pan. Mine were pretty much rolled into balls. I also tried to make sure I covered any exposed chocolate on the bottom of each with more dough, so that the chocolate didn’t melt onto the pan.

Baking: Set the oven to 375 degrees. Bake for 8 minutes. Then, without opening the oven door, re-set the oven to 325 degrees and wait 8 more minutes. Take the cookies out and cool on a wire rack. Or, if you are me, stick the pan on top of a pot because you do not own a wire rack.

Alternate, Easier Bake Times: Bake at 350 degrees 18-22 minutes until done.

I did the first bake method, but if I wanted to go for an even softer inside (though my insides were quite soft) I might try the easier bake method and keep my times closer to the 18 minute mark. I probably will do this, because to me there’s practically no such thing as an underbaked cookie, provided it holds together.

*Note: I have since learned that for Levain sized cookies, 6oz is closer to the real deal. You would have to add a bit of bake time to compensate, I would imagine, but then again soft cookies are awesome and these hold together quite well.

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Unpublished, hard-to-find short stories by J.D. Salinger

Back in high school, one of my English teachers gave us “Teddy” by J.D. Salinger to read and then talk about in class, and at the end of the term he put Salinger’s “A Perfect Day for Bananafish” on the final exam. (And on a high school English lit final that’s just cruel, considering how perplexing that story is.) After that, I started reading the rest of J.D. Salinger’s short stories, and I fell in love with them, especially all of those involving the Glass family. My absolute favourite, though, isn’t a Glass family story; it’s “A Girl I Knew.” The ending just leaves you (well, me) feeling completely empty and emotionally drained.

I came across an article about Salinger’s Nine Stories on JSTOR, which describes the ending of Salinger’s stories:

“In lieu of the customary author photo–which Salinger had refused since the third print run of The Catcher in the Rye–was a Zen koan: We know the sound of two hands clapping. But what is the sound of one hand clapping? A koan has no right answer; it’s designed to float in the mind of the Zen aspirant. While the riddle may be approached from all sides, often over the course of many years, the essence of the conundrum remains insoluble. This seems to mirror Salinger’s mission with Nine Stories: to create engaging paradoxes or puzzles that, at their core, both reflect life yet refuse to be a part of it.” (Smith 641)

[You can read a bunch of his stories, including all the ones I just mentioned, here.]

Anyway, I got to the point where I’d read all the short stories by Salinger that were available. Later, I even read one in its original formatting from the CD version of The New Yorker archives–it wasn’t that exciting. However, there are a bunch of stories I haven’t read, because Salinger is, of course, a famous recluse. Has he spent the last 50 years writing? Who knows. (There is evidence to suggest he has written something, or was writing something at some point during his seclusion.) But there a bunch of “lost stories” that are available to be read, assuming you are willing to go to the one library that has them, sit alone in a room, read them, and then leave. The Dead Caulfieds website on Mr. Salinger has good info on these harder to find works.

In particular, I’d really love to read “The Ocean Full of Bowling Balls” (Dead Caulfields summary of it here) and “The Last and Best of the Peter Pans” (again: Dead Caulfields summary). They’re not about the Glass Family, but they are about the Caulfield one from Catcher in the Rye. The provide insight that you obviously can’t get from the book alone. Holden Caulfield has little to do with these stories; Vincent Caulfield is the main “subject” in each (he narrates one and is at least a primary character in the other). In Catcher in the Rye we know Vincent as “D.B.”

After looking around the net a bit, I got the idea in my head that I’d spend a few days and drive down to Princeton’s Firestone Library, the one place where you can read them. They have a collection of unpublished Salinger materials. You have to give them a bunch of ID, then sit in a room with the story–no pens, no pencils–and read it, then leave. I called up the Firestone Library one time, asked about it, and whomever I was talking to said, “Yeah, yeah, look: just find the call number and come in.” Well, I never did.

The thing is, I think some solid academic criticism about these stories would be really cool. The problem is that reading a story sitting in a room, taking no notes, and then going home to immediately write down as many thoughts as you can, is a really inconvenient way to try and construct a critical argument. Perhaps if you were allowed to take notes as soon as you left the room that would be a little better, but still.

It remains one of my fantasies to really examine Salinger’s entire body of work from a critical viewpoint, including his lost short stories, his letters and manuscripts. There is so much intertextual stuff between his stories that you really need to have the whole picture in front of you, even if you’re not going to try to create an argument that encompasses the “whole picture.” Who knows, maybe one day.

Cited Works:

Smith, Dominic. “Salinger’s Nine Stories: Fifty Years Later.” The Antioch Review 61.4 (Autumn, 2003): 639-439. JSTOR. Web. 6 Nov. 2009. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/4614550>.

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