Category Archives: Jokes

Two Victorian gentlemen enjoy the effects of opium

By Mike Lesiuk | Published: December 20, 2009
GENTLEMAN 1: What! What! Eh – eh – oh, by God! By God! GENTLEMAN 2: Dear me, man, my face is positively melting! GENTLEMAN 1: By… God! GENTLEMAN 2: (pointing) So is yours! GENTLEMAN 1: By… God! (Outside, an over-dressed fop with a brightly coloured overcoat walks past the window.) GENTLEMAN 2: A peacock! Whoooaaaa!!! (He topples over on his expensive leather [...]
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An alien writes haikus about his trip to Earth

By Mike Lesiuk | Published: November 10, 2009
1. Saw an Earth movie today–what a twist! “Rosebud” was only his sled. 2. Man, don’t fajitas taste so good? I think I will spare this weak planet. 3. Meet the President? To heck with that–I want to go to Disney World. 4. Don’t mind me: I’m just testing my new death-ray on some endangered whales. 5. I cannot believe such a primitive species invented Post-Its. 6. I dissected Ted; you remember Ted? Oh, you don’t? Well, nevermind. 7. Went [...]
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Dear Mr. Director of Wildlife Canada, sir

By Mike Lesiuk | Published: November 9, 2009
Dear Mr. Director of Wildlife Canada, sir, let me just say how much I respect the work you are doing. Let me also say that I am sorry for not being more familiar with Canadian Wildlife regulations. However, let me add that the underground world of “Moose vs. Gravity” has really taken off, and if [...]
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Real life Superman origin

By Mike Lesiuk | Published: November 9, 2009
As the doomed planet Krypton meets its end, Kal-el’s parents make a quick decision: they place their beloved son into a small space pod and send him off into space. He floats in space forever.
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Some ideas

By Mike Lesiuk | Published: November 8, 2009
Little helmets and scuba gear so that bees can go underwater. A flashlight that turns on and off really fast, so that when you point it at something, that thing becomes the object of a disco. A game called “Dance Rules Revolution,” in which long, boring rules for various types of dance competitions come on the screen [...]
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A rousing speech

By Mike Lesiuk | Published: November 8, 2009
Our hero gazes triumphantly at the crowd of onlookers. He is about to give a speech. “Guys, we’ve come a long way,” he says. “But today, this is it. Oh, yes. “It’s what separates the men from the boys, so that now the boys are completely alone, and they turn to each other, cuz they’re scared, see? [...]
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